The bloody Happy Clappers are back. Just a couple of months after pulling their application for a Hill$ong mega-blight in the suburb of Rosebery here in Sydney, they’re having another stab at a site just down the road.

Let’s hope these bastards don’t get in.

Well, after all the hoopla, it appears that the recent Bigfoot hoax was…. a hoax. What a surprise.

NOT.

Here we go again: now somebody’s claimed to have bagged a Bigfoot Body.

These cryptozoology kooks just never quit. Two “Bigfoot hunters” claim they have a dead ‘un in their freezer and are going to have a press conference (natch) and wow the world.

They’re claiming to have photographic and DNA evidence to prove they’re not pulling your hairy appendage. Now in today’s Photoshopped world, photographic “evidence” ain’t worth squat. And what are the chances that the DNA “evidence” (if it exists at all, that is) comes from an accredited, independent lab? I’ll bet the odds aren’t that good.

Of course they’re going to make all the right noises but you know what? I won’t hold my breath waiting for BigTwelveInches to be proven authentic.  All this event will do is draw attention to a couple of yokels for a little while, before they fade back into the bushes. Of course they’ll keep on hunting; after all, there are loads of people still looking for Nessie.

I have several Nigerian scam letters that were sent to my office in the 1990s; not emails, but REAL mails. As in envelopes. As in with stamps and all. I kept them because I reckoned that they’d be collector’s items one day, what with email replacing snail mail. I’ve always wondered how anybody could be dumb enough to fall for this sort of thing (yes, I know, greed + dumbness = serves you right) but this particular version takes the cake.

They just don’t get better than this:

Hello
I pray that this email reaches you in the best of health. This letter may come to you as a surprise due to the fact that we have not yet met. The message could be strange but it’s real and you will realise this if you pay some attention to it. I want to notify you about it at least for the sake of your integrity.

My name is Major Greg Boner Moyo, a direct and only remaining member of the wealthy Moyo family. I am an astronaut with the South African Air Force and on loan to the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA).In 2003 I left earth aboard the Mars Rover, Spirit. Seven months later I arrived on Mars. Prior to departing earth, I deposited the amount of US$ 11,600,000 (Eleven million, six hundred thousand United States dollars) in safety galvanized boxes in a African financial institution in Cotonou Benin Republic for security reason which will be disclosed to you upon your acceptance of my proposal.

Last year, during the course of my research on Mars, I was ambushed by a group of analdwelling rebel Martians who inflicted great torturous pain upon my body with anal probes. After a few weeks of enduring the physical pain, they released me. As a direct result of this cruelty, I am now very ill with a ruptured uterus that has defiled all forms of medical treatment and which has been deemed to be inoperable by my Martian surgeons. I am writing this mail to you on a laptop from my hospital bed in the Martian capitol of Zhwrong.

I now have but a few weeks to live and I am far too ill to endure the long and arduous journey back to my South Africa home. Therefore I have decided to donate the bulk of my fortune to a church or charitable organisation that will utilize this money in the manner which I shall impart to you later. In return for your assistance, I shall authorise you to keep 30% of this fund for your trouble and aggravation plus an additional 10% to cover your expenses.

You should contact my attorney in Cotonou Benin Republic immediately with your address and telephone number and he will give you his full contact information and guidance so that we can make arrangements as soon as possible.

Contact Barrister Nelson E Dominic

Barristers & Solicitors,
Telephone +229 934 217 87
Cotonou, West Africa
Email: bar_nelsondominic@yahoo.com Make sure you change this to your address

Sincerely yours,
Major Greg Boner Moyo,
National Aeronautics and Space Administration
Elysium Veterinary Infirmary
Zhwrong, Mars

Ah, yes, religion and sexuality. What a perfect mix. Just to prove that the Catholics don’t hold exclusive rights to total homophobia, here’s a Jewish website that trots out the same old tired line about how your sexual orientation is a lifestyle choice, and that you can readily choose not to be homosexual, if you really, really want to, and you should, you know, because “g-d” doesn’t like that sort of thing.

The site is full of the traditional claptrap that “g-d” (would you like to buy a vowel?) meant for heterosexuality to be the only way to happiness, and that if you just spend some time with us and get some counselling, we’ll “cure” you and set you onto the right(eous) path that “g-d” had planned for you.

Jeeeebus, these people are full of self-righteous crap. Their mission statement reads:

JONAH, Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality, is a non-profit international organization dedicated to educating the world-wide Jewish community about the prevention, intervention, and healing of the underlying issues causing same-sex attractions.

Our Rabbinical sages explain that because mankind has been endowed by our Creator with a free will, everyone has the capacity to change. Furthermore, the Rabbis emphasize that parents, teachers and counselors have a special responsibility to educate, nurture, and provide an opportunity for those struggling with unwanted same-sex attractions to journey out of homosexuality.

Through psychological and spiritual counseling, peer support, and self-empowerment, JONAH seeks to reunify families, to heal the wounds surrounding homosexuality, and to provide hope.

So there you have it, you sick people. Click on the logo, and we’ll straighten you out.

Hmmm… are those two whales depicted in the logo there? They look to be …. gasp! Are they the same sex?!? Are they anatomically-correct? It’s hard to tell. I wonder if JONAH are planning on branching out into the animal kingdom as well?

Let’s hope they can get those dirty little bonobos sorted out.

What a week. No sooner has one circus left town than another one seems to be arriving. Only this one doesn’t involve the transportation of a corpse… or then again, does it? I suppose it’s intellectually dead, so it qualifies.

Apparently, we’re about to be invaded by the Purity Ball. Yes, folks, another manifestation of moral wowserism foisted upon us by the self-appointed guardians of all that is for our own good, the fundagelicals, who are just SO correct in saying that their way is the only way of stitching the moral fabric of society back together.

This isn’t going to solve anything, it’s just going to put a variation of the Great Catholic Guilt Trip onto young girls, and mess them up psychologically. And the righteous puritans are just going to go on banging the drum about how they’re saving morality and protecting their kids against evil.

This sort of silliness is evil unto itself. Who’s protecting the kids against parents like this?

Well, the circus is finally over. The god squad is finally leaving town, and good riddance. In a final gesture of hypocrisy, the Evil Emperor has conducted a Mass with four sexual abuse victims this morning. How nice of him.

“We all prayed together at Mass and the Holy Father spoke individually with victims. I was moved by the encounter. I think it will have a positive effect with the people who were there,” Dr Pell said.

The Pope listened to their harrowing stories, consoled them and assured them of his support and his continuing prayers for their friends and families of the victims, the organisers said.

Support? SUPPORT?? Where the hell was the support when it was needed the most, namely at the time the priest was sticking his dick up a child’s arse? Did the church turn him in, get the bastard sent to jail to rot, as he deserved? No? Why not? Instead, they protect child molesters.

Oh never mind, they’re being offered prayers instead. That’ll surely compensate for everything.

So Ratzinger, this gutless coward who dared to keep the Crimen Solicitationis in place with his full knowledge and consent, doesn’t meet up with the father of two daughters who were fortuntate enough to be “blessed” by the Catholic Church, but instead performs in a public relations stunt with four victims that had undoubtedly been selected as being friendly to the Church:

He said the church had arranged their involvement “over weeks” and they were chosen by the director of its professional standards unit, but would not say on what grounds they were picked.

Yeah I’ll BET they’re not going to say. It’s enough to make you upchuck in disgust.

The Pope and the Catholic Church are absolute proof that there is no such thing as a god, because they represent some of the most evil behaviour out there. It doesn’t get punished, there is no justice. They are an embarrassment to human kind. Acting oh-so-piously, they betray their position of trust and destroy lives. They’re slime.

Q: Why did the Catholic Church choose Randwick Race Course for the Pope’s Sermon?
A: Because that’s the only place you can legally ride a 3 year-old!

Oh now this is priceless: after all the publicity surrounding the “annoyance law” that threatened us with a  $5500 fine if we annoyed the Superstitiously Stupid™, here is video of a PILGRIM BEING ARRESTED this afternoon. Too funny!

CATHOLICISAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!

http://media.smh.com.au/?category=Breaking%20News&rid=39734

There has been a victory in the court over the silly “annoyance law”. It’s a start, but let’s not get too excited, as stupidity has a way of coming back over and over again.